


Circulus Plenus

by Quellas



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Friendship/Love, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-09 06:51:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13476030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quellas/pseuds/Quellas
Summary: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and Rey must find a way to understand each other and figure out what their connection means. Meanwhile, General Hux, Kylo's Knights and the Resistance stand between them and what they feel.Can enemies hate and love one another? Can the light and the dark find a happy ending?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I'm new to this and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

General Organa was dead. There was no coming back from it. Leia...

Rey looked around her, she was crying. Everyone was lost and broken by Leia’s death. She felt like she too could die right then and there. She closed her eyes, all the horror and suffering of the previous night came to her vividly.

_They were all gathered on their new base, the night was chilly and incredibly dark. Poe, Finn, Rose, Leia and herself were talking about strategies and ways to end the First Order terror. In the middle of the conversation, Rey sensed something in the Force, an energy she hadn’t felt in years. It was him. She immediatly rose and walked to a corner of the office. No one noticed her anxious stride. In two years, since the day he asked her to join him and she closed the Falcon’s door at his face, she hand’t talked to him again. Their connection was there, she knew it, she could sense it, but not like the times when they saw, talked and **touched** each other. _

_She didn’t know where he was but she could tell he was close. Very close. Could he be there? No, it was impossible, no one knew their location. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t notice Leia coming up to her side._

_“Rey, what is it?”_

_“I...I don’t know exactly...”_

_“I can feel it too. So much darkness...”_

_“You think he’s close?”_

_They were whispering, Leia shook her head and took a deep breath._

_“I can’t tell, Ben is so...”_

_Leia was interrupted by a loud alarm. They were under attack! Everyone immediatly began to run. Rey took her saberstaff, the one she restored so heartbreakingly. She looked around, now she was running outside, everyone was screaming and carrying blasters or any kind of gun, however she couldn’t see any threat. There was no ship in the sky and apparently no one coming from the forest. The alarm went on, very loudly. She saw Leia and Poe standing a little ahead of everyone else. People seemed distraught. What was going on?_

_Then, it hit her. His force signature. So powerful and strong, it was hard to breathe. She could see that Leia was sensing it too. But where was he? Something was wrong... this time she sensed others signatures. It was overwhelming._

_In a heartbeat everyone froze, Rey as well. She was unable to move, she could only watch. She saw, unable to fight, five masked creatures emerge from darkness, they were controlling all members of the Resistence with the Force. She had a vague idea of who they were, it gave her chills, not good ones. Rey also saw, unable to utter a word or scream, one of them walking in Leia’s direction. Rey wasn’t sure, but it appeared to be a woman. Rey saw, still unable to move a finger, the woman draw a lightsaber, a black lightsaber, so thin that it was almost a single thread. Rey went rigid and with all her mighty she tried to pull out of her unmoving state, uselessly._

_The woman stood, with her lightsaber, in front of Leia and the moment lasted what it seemed like hours, but in reality it didn’t take more than 2 minutes. In this unending minutes, Rey was sure the dark woman would kill Leia, right there, in front of everyone. They didn’t even have the chance to fight, it wasn’t fair, it was pure cruelty. And then she felted again, his presence. So strong, so unsettling, so him. But where was he? Rey kept trying to move._

_“Stop doing that.”_

_Her eyes opened wide. He was behind her. She wanted to turn and look at him so badly that it almost hurt. She had so many questions... why wasn’t he stopping this? His mother was in danger! Was he a part of this? Did he come to murder his own mother?_

_“You wouldn’t understand.”_

_Was he reading her mind? Now, the woman was walking back and forth in front of Leia, her lightsaber menacingly close to the General’s face. Rey tried again to move and catch her saberstaff that was on the floor right next to her._

_“Please, Rey, stop. You can’t fight all of them. You would die.” His voice was low. Almost a whisper. “I missed you...”_

_Her heart ached in her chest. She wanted to beat herself that in a situation like this she wanted to tell him that she had missed him too. She closed her eyes and in the same way he arrived, he left._

_She felt a cold she woulnd’t be able to explain for the rest of her life, it was terrifying, she could barely understand what was going on. Slowly, she saw the masked woman strike Leia. She never felt so angry in her entire life, with a force that she doubt she possessed, she invoked her saberstaff. In a flash she regained her ability to move, she was ready to run, however, it was too late, all five of them were gone and Leia was on the floor, dead._

_Rey fell on her knees, she was paralyzed, unable to think. There was only pain. She stood there for minutes, long minutes. She only came to her senses when Finn approached her, he took her hands and guided her inside._

Everything felt so unreal... since she came back inside, she went straight to her room and never left, until now.

“Rey...” Finn was looking at her, completely devastated. “How are you feeling?” She only gave him a look. “Ok, I know, wrong question. Do you want to eat something? Anything?”

“It’s very nice of you, Finn, but I really can’t... I don’t even know if I can do basic things anymore.”

He sat by her side and took her hand, gently.

“I’m here for you, you know that, right?”

She squezzed his hand.

“Of course I know... and I’m here for you too, we all need each other right know.”

“Ok, let’s go. Everyone is already outside.”

She hand’t realized, resigned she stood and they went.

They would bury Leia at a beautiful field, covered with white flowers and surrounded by a stream of water, it was the perfect spot. Peaceful, endearing, powerful and unique, just like Leia. Their eternal General and Princess. The silence was calming and at the same time, heavy. They would never hear her voice again.

Poe was still, his head down, Rey was sure he was trying to stop crying. He needed to give a speech, people were counting on him. He looked at everyone.

“I will never be able to fully understand what happened last night.” He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. “Leia was the most generous, loving and determinated person I ever had the pleasure to meet and I think it’s the same for all of you. Yes, it’s true, we lost our leader, we lost the heart of the Resistance. But there is one thing we can’t lose. Hope. I may come out as repetitive, but when talking about this amazing human that was our General, I can’t leave hope out. Never. If we think clearly, hope is something very difficult... we can’t touch it, we can’t taste it, we can’t see it, we can’t hear it and we can’t smell it. What is hope? Hope is something our beloved Leia carried with her at all times. If something bad happened she had hope that something good was going to come. If someone got injuried she had hope that everything would be alright. If we lost one battle, she had hope that we would win the war. Her hope never faltered. And the best way to remember her is by keeping our hope alive.”

Everyone listened to him with sorrow.

“We are here because we believe in this cause. We are here because we want a better Galaxy, we are here because we do not accept being controled by the First Order and everything they represent. In a moment like this, all I can ask of you is to keep believing in us. I understand that we all need time to let what happened sink in, but I strongly ask to all of you to find inside the seed Leia left in our hearts. Now, all of us are the heart of the Resistence. Now, all of us are the hope she always cared for. We must endure. We must rejoice. We must fight. We must win. We must fulfill our destinies.”

He was now with fire in his eyes.

“I stand here and I guarantee to all of you that I, Poe Dameron, will fight to my very end, I will not let her death be in vain! I will keep my hope alive, I will fight in her name, and I have only one question for you. Are you with me?”

People shouted and screamed. It gave Rey comfort but she knew that the hollow left by Leia in her heart was going to be almost impossible to heal.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey, just a few notes:
> 
> . Leia's death was a bit harsh but necessary to this fic :'(
> 
> . Everything and everyone is a bit different here because it's been two years since TLJ. 
> 
> . Just to be clear this fic is totally Reylo but they have a long way to go, and Kylo has a complicated relationship with one of his Knights ;)
> 
> .  
> Enjoy!

It’s been five days since he watched Domika kill his own mother. He knew where she had been buried and he needed to go there, he couldn’t wait any longer. Kylo entered his ship and simply took off, he wasn’t going to explain his every move to them. He was Supreme Leader still.

While the ship sailed itself, Kylo thought about everything that happened in the past few years. His life was now a huge mess and he didn’t know how to get out of it.

Just after Rey took off with the Millennium Falcon and the rest of the Resistance, Hux pratically interrogated Kylo “Why was the girl here?” “How could she possibily have the strength and ability to kill Supreme Leader Snoke, all his guards and leave you unconscious?” Kylo simply ignored him, but then he said something...”We should chase her everywhere, Supreme Leader! If she can do things like this she is obviously a threat to the First Order, she must die!” Kylo almost killed him, but at the last moment he had some clarity. He was now Supreme Leader, he couldn’t kill Hux just because he wanted an enemy of the Order dead.

Hux didn’t take it well. Their relationship was hell.

He remembered Rey asking him not to go this way. It was hard to think about this, Kylo would never abandon the First Order and the Dark Side, he gave everything he had and now he had nowhere else to go. This was his life, the only one he knew.

Kylo tried to keep Hux under control but things got really difficult when his five remaining Knights of Ren appeared and said they were there to serve under the Supreme Leader and the First Order. This happened a few days after Snoke’s death and Kylo hadn’t see Rey again, however, with the Knights following him everywhere he coulnd’t risk it, he had to close their connection. It was one of the hardest things he’d done, but it was necessary, no one could ever find out about this bond they shared.

He had felt her. Countless times. Most of them at night. He could hear her thoughts, she was calling him, just like a whisper close to his mind and heart “Where are you, Ben?” or “You are the only one that understands me”. He never answered her pleas. It was too much for him, talking to her, seeing her and touching her knowing that they would never be really together. They were worlds away from each other and Kylo made peace with it. But he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. He swore on it.

Now he was descending on Guiditok. The Resistance was long gone, Kylo saw all indications of their departure, some things got left behind but there was no sign of them. Of course, they buried General Organa and fled. He didn’t care, so he went straight to his mother’s grave. The place was powerful and beautiful.

He was now standing just above her laying place. Through the Force, Kylo could feel all aspects of his surroundings. He closed his eyes and did something he thought he would never do again, he let go of all his anger, all his hate and all his greed for power, he was now simply Ben Solo, Leia Organa’s son. The light he had still in him flowed around his body and soul, and in this place he could, in some way, be again with his mother.

“Mother...” tears started falling from his face, he couldn’t control it. “I am so sorry.” He fell to his knees. “I... I never... this wasn’t supposed to happen. I tried my best, I wasn’t able to stop them, I just... I hope you can forgive me one day, for everything. I now see some things differently and I forgive you for sending me away to train with Skywalker. Mother, I no longer have a voice in my head that tells me nasty and ugly things about my family, I can see you and remember you only with warmth and love.” He stopped talking, it was so hard for him to admit this, it was the first time he was saying it out loud. “I made bad decisions and I don’t see how to walk away from them... my fate is sealed.” He closed his eyes and accepted the moment.

He never sensed someone watching him. Rey was right there, behind him. The moment Kylo opened up to his light, their connection called hungrily for Rey, she saw everything and was crying too.

“Ben...”

He got up immediately, fully alert. He looked at Rey and the sight of his red eyes were almost too much for her.

“I don’t wanna do this now.”

He turned his back to her, in a way blaming himself for letting the connection so open.

“You’ve been avoiding me for a long time.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“We’re enemies. We shouldn’t talk.”

“So this is your explanation for ignoring me for two years?”

“What do you want me to say?” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

“Well, I don’t know, but this I can’t take, we were enemies back then too and this never stopped us.” He stayed silent. “Look at me, Ben.” He didn’t. “Please.”

He took a deep breath and turned around. She took a step closer, they were a few feet away from each other.

“What happened? Who was that woman that killed Leia?”

“I’m not going to talk to you, Rey, give up.”

He started walking back to his ship. He couldn’t do this, specially right now that he was felling extremely vulnerable.

“SO THAT’S IT?” she was shouting, her anger was palpable. He kept walking and was caught by suprise when she froze him using the Force to stop him on his tracks. He was paralyzed.

She came and stood in front of him and without warning started yelling at his face.

“FIRST YOU SAVE MY LIFE AND KILLS SNOKE AND THEN YOU ASK ME TO RULE THE FREAKING GALAXY WITH YOU! AFTER THAT YOU IGNORE ME FOR TWO WHOLE YEARS AND ONLY FIVE DAYS AGO YOU SAID YOU MISSED ME AND NOW YOU ARE IGNORING ME!”

She released him from the Force. Rey was furious.

“Yeah, well... you shouldn’t care, right? You are where you want, with your precious Resistance and all of your friends.” He said with a touch of disdain. “And don’t ever do that again.”

“What? This?” She stopped him again. “I don’t have to follow your orders, _Supreme Leader_.” Kylo released himself from her grasp. She froze him again, and again he released himself. The next time she froze him, he snapped.

“STOP IT!”

“THEN TALK TO ME!”

They where mere inches apart, yelling at one another. They held their gazes.

“You can’t do this.” Rey said ferociously.

“I can’t do what?”

“You can’t ignore me forever!”

“Really? Watch me!”

He resumed his walk to his ship. This time she didn’t follow, however he stopped when she asked:

“What happened to us?”

He turned, feeling tired and said in a small voice:

“What ‘us’? There is no ‘us’, Rey, you made that pretty clear two years ago. Does it ever cross your mind that everyone in the Resistance is rooting for you to kill me? We don’t belong on the same side.”

She came up to him, she was now so close that he was looking down at her.

“Ben, yes, we are at different sides of this war, there is no denying it, but we can’t and I think we shouldn’t deny what we feel for each other.”

He inhaled sharply. This was new, was she admitting out loud that she felt something for him? This was too much and he couldn’t quite believe her... he killed his own father, he stood by and watched someone murder his mother... he was a monster, she was always right about that. But feelings? No, he wouldn’t accept this. He had already ruined the life of probably the only ones that ever loved him, he was not going to do that to her, Rey deserves better than him and he knows it.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t feel anything for you. No, you know what? Brave and young, Rey, ditched somewhere by unloving parents... fearless and strong, Rey, pretending to belong somewhere. If you must know, I only asked you to join me out of pity!” She was on the verge of tears, but now he was not backing down, she was believing him and he preferred things this way. She should stay far away from him, because just the thought of her shipping herself again to meet him gave him chills, what if one of the Knights got her? “You are nothing, Rey, and for you to think that I would feel something for you or ever care about you is beyond my understanding!”

He could pinpoint the moment she started hating him again, her soft eyes becoming hard and cold. It gutted him. He expected an answer but instead of that, she just disappeared, their connection closed again, and he imagined that this time it would be forever.

Kylo returned to his ship and went back to his life with his Knights.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey couldn’t stop crying. The pain she felt was so excruciating that she had trouble breathing. She fell to the floor and squeezed her chest, willing the pain to go away.

After minutes she finally calmed down. She was alone in her quarters and now sitting on her bed she wondered how her encounter with him had gone so wrong. She thought about seeing him again countless times since that day they last saw each other and in her head she never imagined that things would go this way.

She wished she had had the chance to tell him exactly why she didn’t join him when he asked. She wished she had said that she thought of him often, if not everyday. She wished she had said that his mother had talked to her about him and that she truly believes he’s someone that deserves redemption, someone that deserves a life with love and understanding. She wished she had said how confused she is about them and how she feels about him, she had hoped they could figure it out together.

But she didn’t said none of those things. What happened to Leia was more important than her ramblings and she was overwhelmed by how the Force carried her to him, he was so exposed and in that moment she saw someone she knew he could be and because of that she was with great hope of them coming to an understanding, which obviously was a mistake.

She had to admit to herself that much had changed in two years. She was different and he was too. She experienced with the Resistance something close to belonging and he was with his Knights now, why would he want her? And above everything else, he was right, they were enemies, the First Order wanted her dead and the Resistance was trying to find a way to kill him. How could they possibly be together? She knew the answer to her own question: they simply could not. She thought she could convince him to go to her, be with her, even beg his mother for forgiveness, but now Leia wasn’t here anymore. War.

She paced in her room, she was coming to terms with their situation and his words were printed at her heart, he didn’t feel anything for her, only pity! She growled and things started flying inside the room, her Force out of control. She had trained herself this years and was much more capable now. She understood her light and could bent it to her will, it was a huge part of her. However, at the moment, drowning in pain, her soul felt wicked, something cold and dark was taking over her, penetrating her, tangling around her. It was the darkside, she knew it. It whispered to her _“You must kill him”_ And she felt it profoundly.

Rey realized her soul was now tainted by him. It was a little part of her that she would never take back, and for that, in that moment, she hated him.

 

*

Finn and Rose were waiting for her at Poe’s office on their new base. They were dating for one year now and Rey was happy for them. At the beginning she struggled a little, in a selfish way she didn’t want to share her best friend, but eventually she became Rose’s friend and both were now extremely close.

“Where’s Poe?”

“Right here!”

Poe was entering the office. Rey scanned him. He was truly charming. They dated, at least they tried. Rey had never been with a man before and Poe was gentle and caring with her, but doing so much more than touching hands with him never came close to what she felt that day her fingertips touched Ben’s. When she realized this, it pained her but she had to be honest with herself, without mentioning Ben, she talked to Poe and they both decided that they were better off as friends. He was now dating another pilot, Gal, they were very happy.

“So, Poe, what’s the purpose of this meeting?” Finn asked.

“I discovered something. Well, some of our spies discovered it. The First Order is kind of falling apart from within.”

“How do you know that?” Rey asked.

“Well, apparently General Hux and his army are based on a new ship that is truly something we have never seen before, and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is based at a planet with his Knights.”

“The ones that killed Leia.” Rose said.

“Exactly.”

“Ren and his Knights live in a castle at Tuptik. And I think that going there and suprising them is our best chance to kill him and get some revenge for Leia.”

“Wait” Rey was a little dumbfounded “Poe, this is insane! They are six Force users! I’m just one! And ok, let’s say we kill them, what about Hux and his army?”

“Well, Leia was saving this information, but she never got the chance to say it. We have finally reached all the galaxy with our pleas and a number close to 2,000 ships are coming to our aid. We now have a real chance to end this, Rey.”

The mere thought of Ben dying struck her hard. But would he care this way about her? Maybe not. Maybe he wanted her dead.

“Ok. This is awesome!” Finn said. “I think we could do it! Really do it! End this once and for all!”

Rey watched silently as they came up with all kinds of plan to invade the Knight’s castle. Could she do this? Suprise them all? Kill them? Kill **him**?

“...and I think that is our best chance, don’t you, Rey?”

“What? Sorry, I...I didn’t hear you.”

“I was saying that a few of us have volunteered to create some kind of distraction for the Knights, our spies said that when something is wrong, four of them go to check it out. Only Ren and apparently a woman, possibly Leia’s murderer, stay at the castle. Someone said they are a couple, and this is a good thing for us, she could be his weakness.”

Rey’s heart stopped. What? Ben and his mother’s assassin? She sat down. She was doing her best to hide her feelings. They never discovered her connection with Ben and she never fully explained what happened between them when Snoke died. They had no idea that she felt something she shouldn’t for him. This was more than she asked for.

“Rey?”

Right, she was supposed to say something. They were all looking at her with weird expressions.

“Yes... no... I mean yes! Yes, we could use this in our favor. Maybe kidnap her?” And torture her? And make her scream from torturous pain? She couldn’t stop her thoughts, she wanted this woman to suffer a great deal, first for killing Leia and second for...

“I think there’s something else we should discuss...” Poe said. “I mean, they were there, at our base, pratically the whole Resistance was there... and they only killed Leia. Don’t get me wrong, it was one of the worst things that could have happened... but... they could have killed all of us. They could have killed Rey! She is the only one of us that is strong with the Force. So I keep asking myself, why didn’t they?”

No one answered. Between burying Leia, leaving Guiditok and dealing with all her emotions, Rey hadn’t thought about that. Poe was right, they could have killed everyone without even breaking a sweat.

“Well... maybe they are toying with us.” Finn said. “I mean, how they found out where we were? Could they do it again? Could they appear here and kill one of us? I don’t doubt that and this is a little terrifying. We’ll never feel safe again.”

Finn words had implications Rey couldn’t deal right now.

“If that’s what they want, we should do the exact opposite of it. We shouldn’t be afraid.” Poe was already thinking in a strategy. “Let’s put on more defenses around the base and be more alert, but not give in to fear. Never. This conversation don’t leave this room. The less people think about it the better. We should meet again in a few days to discuss invading Ren’s Castle, I’m just waiting for more informations about it.”

Rey was leaving with Finn and Rose when Poe asked her to stay a little longer.

“Rey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Poe...”

“I just... well, I know I’m asking too much of you. Killing all Knights and the Supreme Leader of the First Order- ”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. I totally understand and I’m up to it. This war already took so much of us, it’s time to end it.” 

Poe was looking at her with a strange face and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“I just... will it be a problem for you? To kill Kylo?”

That came out of nowhere. Rey was stunned. Why would he ask her something like that? The suprised must have shown on her face, he immediatly added:

“Look, there’s something I never told you. I know I should have but I couldn’t bring myself to do it...”

“What?”

Rey was feeling on the verge of a precipe. He was going to say something related to Ben and she was not prepared.

“One night, when we were together, I couldn’t sleep and you were talking and moving a lot in bed. You were dreaming and you looked so content I didn’t want to wake you.” He went silent for what felt like hours. “You were saying his name.” Rey froze completely. “I took a while to understand but you were calling him, pleading for him to be with you, saying that you could find a way to be together.”

Poe stood in front of her, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I didn’t say anything back then because it was just a dream, or a nightmare perhaps, but now, that we are in a critical situation I have to know, is there something concerning him and you that I need to know? Will you be able to kill him or are you going to hold back at the last minute?”

Rey felt like crying, she couldn’t let her emotions show this way, specially the way she felt about him. She was not certain in what to respond. She could tell Poe about their connection and blame it for her silly affection towards Ben or she could simply say what he wanted to hear, without further explanation.

“I won’t hold back at _any_ minute, Poe. You have my word.”

He agreed with a nod and she stromed out of the office, her emotions running wild.

She would do it. Be- Kylo Ren was not going to ruin what she had in the Resistance, he was not going to blur her judgments like that, whatever it was they, or better, _she_ felt for him, was now over.

 

\----------------------

 

Kylo emotions were out of control. Seeing and talking to Rey had been too much after two years. Opening up to his mother that way, letting his light engulf him had been _way_ too much. He needed his dark, he needed Domika.

“DOMIKA?” he screamed as soon as he entered the Castle. He went on looking for her.

Kylo found Domika at their training room, the sight of her made his dark rise, putting away some of the light still on surface. She was fighting droids with such ferocity and power that Kylo had a crazy urge to join her. He took his saber and started destroying droids by her side. After a while he saw Domika’s black lightsaber pass inches by his head and was a little suprised.

“Oh, love, relax, I’m not going to kill you!”

All droids were now scattered on the floor and Kylo hadn’t had enough, he needed to channel his dark, he needed to fight, needed to feel all his absurd power blind him. Domika understood and started ataccking him. They danced a dangerous dance with lightsabers and Force manipulations. They spared for hours and when they finished, Kylo kissed her ferociously. Domika responded with the same ferocity. Clothes were discarded and in a battle of mouths and hands, Kylo took her with brutality at the training room floor.

“I thought you were never going to touch me again after I killed your precious mother.”

They were now in a strange embrace at the floor, totally spent by their activities. Kylo ignored her, his light and Leia were now all gone, he could feel it tucked away inside him, together with Rey and all his thoughts of her. His fingers were playing with Domika’s long, blond hair, he looked at her and like every time he did it, he was mesmerized by her profound black eyes and beautiful face.

“We should talk about it.” She said.

“No, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Ok, Kylo, if you don’t want to, I won’t force you to do it, but I wanna say something. You’ve ignored me since that day and I did not like that! Yes, I killed your mother, because that’s who I am and that’s what I do, I kill for pleasure and power. Since the day I joined you and left Skywalker’s Temple I embraced the dark with everything I had and I thought you had done the same, but sometimes I’m not sure. Look at me, Kylo!”

He did. Domika’s words were disturbing.

“The moment we heard you were now Supreme Leader, I didn’t even hesitated, we had to be by your side, because that’s something we do as well, we support each other, we die for each other, we took an oath, Kylo. You are our leader, however, when we arrived you were different, distant, didn’t want to be with us, see us, see _me.”_ She took his face in her hands. “What’s going on? Tell me, Kylo, you know you can trust me, I was there, I saw it when Skywalker tried to kill you and I’ve been by your side since then. I intend to be by your side forever. Don’t shut me out.”

“I won’t shut you out, Domika, there is nothing wrong with me, I’m just... adjusting a few things, putting together a few thoughts, that is all. And you don’t have to remind me of the oath we took, the Knights are part of me and I will always cherish and protect you all. I would die for you, Domika, you know that.”

“You better.” She smirked.

She got up and started dressing herself, Kylo did the same.

“There is only one more thing, Kylo... why didn’t we kill that girl? The one with the Force? Rey, isn’t it?” Her eyes were observing him intensely. Kylo’s jaw tightened, but now he was in total control of his emotions. He answered without flinching:

“Consider it a favor. She had the chance to kill me once, but she didn’t. That was all. Next time I won’t be so generous.”

“I sure hope not.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo was resting on his bed after a long shower. His thoughts consuming him, he didn’t want to, but he couldn’t refrain himself from remembering childhood moments with his mother and father. They’re dead and that is a fact. Kylo found it incredibly disturbing that he was hurting because of this. He thought that this urge inside of him to be loved by his family would vanish after killing Snoke and promising to let the past die, but that didn’t happen. He shouldn’t care a damn about them, but he desired nothing more than to talk with his parents and try to understand what went extremely wrong with their relationship.

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to put those memories away. When he opened them, he almost shouted by what he saw.

Luke Skywalker’s Force ghost was standing by the end of his bed.

“Hello nephew, how are you?”

“What are you doing here? Go away!”

“Oh, the best thing about being a ghost is that I can do whatever I please, really Ben, it’s so good.”

Kylo was glaring at him, if looks could kill, Skywalker would die for the second time.

“Are you really not leaving?” Kylo’s voice expressed all his anger.

“Well... for now, no. I want to have a little chat with you, you know... family stuff.” He smiled.

“What do you want? Just say it. I don’t have time for this bullshit or as you call it, family stuff- ”

“Now, Ben, why lie like that to me? I can see your soul. Your mind. Your Force. You can’t hide things from me. Not anymore.”

“How dare you disturb me like that? After everything? Haven’t you done enough, _uncle_?”

“Oh, are you angry, Ben? I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention.” Luke’s ghost sat at the floor, legs crossed. “C’mon, just relax a bit, you are always so angry, so sad, sulking everywhere, I mean, there are so many good things in life, you should enjoy it more. Can you even smile, nephew?” Kylo was still like a statue glaring at Luke. “Do you know who smiles a lot? Rey! That one sure likes to smile and-“

“ **What** do you want?” Kylo stood from the bed and walked to where Skywalker was.

“Did I strike a nerve there?” Luke smirked. “Ok, I won’t talk about Rey. So, can we talk about your mother?”

Kylo tried shoving him away with the Force. Luke, however, just sat there looking at him.

“Frustranting, isn’t it? Well, I have to confess, I’m enjoying this way more than I should.”

“You have no right! You did this to me! I’m who I am because of you!”

“Maybe. But why are you saying this to me? Weren’t you the one that was going to let the past die?”

“Kylo? Are you there?” A voice came from the door. Kylo and Luke turned their atettion to it. Lyx Ren was saying: “Listen, we need you down there. We have a few things to discuss, ok? We are waiting for you.”

“They are Darksiders but you took good care of them, Ben.”

Kylo was a bit confused by Luke’s words. Was he saying something good about him? In a twisted way, of course.

“I have to go. Just leave and never come back.”

“Well, I’m sorry, kid, things don’t work this way. See you soon.”

And just like that he disappeared.

 

*

 

All his Knights were waiting for him.

“Finally!” Domika exclaimed and came to his side. “What happened to you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Kylo!”

“I’m fine!” he snarled, snatching away her hand that was coming to rest on his face. “What can possibly be so important that couldn’t wait ‘til tomorrow?”

“It’s Hux. I’ve heard that he’s trying to find devices with the capability to neutralize Force users. And I’m almost sure that the Jedi girl is not his main target. He’s playing dirty, Kylo.” Ce Ren said, she was their intel Knight. Ce was always travelling and bringing informations about the Galaxy to the Castle.

“I don’t understand why we can’t kill this idiot! He surely deserves to die! I would be glad to do it!” Trint Ren was almost shouting. His solution to everything was murder.

“I agree with him, Kylo, let’s just kill Hux and be free of this pain in the ass!” Bax Ren said. He was the youngest Knight and more times than Kylo could count he would simply repeat what Trint was saying.

“We can’t kill Hux. You know that.” Kylo said, he was now sitting at the large couch they had on their meeting room, his thoughts on what Ce said about the Jedi girl.

“I hate politics!” Domika said. “It’s just so boring...” She was sitting by Kylo’s side, messing with his hair.

“I agree with Kylo, I know it’s ridiculous that we can’t kill a guy that obviously want us dead, but if we kill him we’re mostly certain going to lose all army support, because all of the First Order allies have a close proximity with him since Kylo didn’t want to negotiate with anyone. If he’s gone, they could turn on us, on Kylo, and the Resistance could take over. We don’t want that, right?” Lyx Ren was the most pragmatic Knight.

“We are the most powerful creatures on the Galaxy, we should just take over everything and that’s it, we are unstoppable! Who needs this annoying General? And who cares about the Resistance? They no longer have a leader, they won’t come back from Leia’s death.” Domika said.

Kylo stiffed. Bringing his mother to this was the last thing he needed, he still remembered how he tried to convince them that it was a waste of time go all the way to the Resistance to kill General Organa but they didn’t understand Kylo’s position, and in a beat they were questioning his loyalty. Kylo was their leader, yes, but if all of them had arguments to question his decision on one thing, the only way for him to have the final word was fighting them and winning and in that scenario, he was going to have to choose between his faithful Knights or his traitous mother. It was one of the most difficult things he has ever done.

“If Hux attack us, we are going to retaliate. We are not going to engage him unless this happen. Understood?” his tone was final and the Knights agreed with a bit of reluctance.

Kylo stood up without looking at them and exited the room. Domika’s eyes followed him, she frowned.

“Is he okay, Domika?”

“I’m not sure, Lyx, but whatever it is, I’m going to find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heey, this one was short, I loved writing Luke's ghost, he's going to be an essential part of this fiic.  
> I think you guys will like next chapter... there's some Reylo in it, ok... a LOT of Reylo.
> 
> ;)


	5. Chapter 5

The red light of his saber cut through the blinding darkness. Responding immediatly, Rey’s blue saberstaff came to life. They were in a strange place. Everything was dark and now they could only see each other. Neither moved a finger, Kylo was seizing her and she was trying to understand what was going on. Where were they?

“We're dreaming, I guess.” He said, answering her unspoken question.

“Can you hear my thoughts?”

_“Yes, and you can hear mine.”_

“Stop it! Get out of my head! Right now!”

“You don’t need to ask me so nicely.” he snorted. “There you go, I’m totally out of your head.”

She felt him closing his mind to her and she did the same. She was thinking about the situation. “Is it my dream or your dream?”

“I’m not sure.” He started walking around using his lightsaber as a flashlight. “This place only reminds me of a void and nothing more.” He was now a little closer. “I think it’s _our_ dream.”

“That’s not possible. I don’t think I would be dreaming about this.”

“Well... it’s ironic if you really thing about it, we’ve closed ourselves to our connection but the Force found a way to put us together nonetheless.” He sat on the floor, his lightsaber by his side.

Although everything Kylo said to Rey when they met at his mother’s grave right now he didn’t want to pick a fight with her, he was tired. He only wanted to sleep and stop thinking about what had happened that day. And if he was being honest, he was a little curious, it was the second time on the same day that he was seeing her. It was a lot to take in after two years without even a glimpse of her. It was overwhelming.

Rey walked a little on the dark space, her eyes never leaving him. After everything he said to her, she was trying her best to see him as her enemy **and only that** , she had promised Poe that when the time came she would kill him.

“But it doesn’t make any sense, **you** ’ve been avoiding me for two years and this never happened. Why now?”

Her question made Kylo frown.

“Maybe...” Rey continued. “you closed me off all this time, but now **I** don’t want to see you either, so the Force is pushing us... in a dream that feels ridiculously real.”

Out of the blue, Rey started screaming at the top of her lungs. Kylo, suprised, got up and tried to muffle the sound putting his hands above his ears.

“What are you doing?” He shouted.

Rey stopped and looked around.

“Shit! I’m trying to wake up!”

“By losing your vocal cords?”

Rey glared at him. “What do you suggest, _Supreme Leader_?”

“Look, _Jedi,_ I don’t want to be here with you either, but there’s nothing we can do, if the Force is really doing this, we can only sit here and wait for it to end!”

“Fine!”

She sat down and he followed, they were facing each other, their lightsabers ignited. His face was ilumminated by an unstable red and hers by a calming blue. Kylo was looking at her intensely and that was making Rey a little uncomfortable. She had the feeling his gaze was telling her something but she couldn’t quite understand.

Now, that they were silent and in a way trying to communicate with their eyes, the Force around them was changing. At first Rey didn’t even realize that the Force was there, but now she could feel it in her body, she could almost see it flowing around them like an infinite symbol, bringing them closer. To her suprise, she relaxed a bit and saw his face do the same. It was a face she was sure the Supreme Leader of the First Order would never be free to show his underlings.

“Rey...” her name coming out of his mouth gave her chills. “Do you know anything about a device that can neutralize the Force?” his voice was low and tired, totally undressed of second intentions, just like his face. Rey found it very difficult to resist him this way.

“I’ve never heard a thing about it.” She noticed that her voice was gentle and it made her furious. She was supposed to hate this man, not talk to him in sweet tones. “Why do you ask?” this time she was agressive and his face changed, she could see him putting up all his walls around him. The Force lashed out and came back, almost taking her breath out, Kylo also gasped. He made a sound close to a laugh and she widened her eyes.

“I think the Force wants us to behave, I mean, you were so agressive right now, that’s not nice for a Jedi.”

“The Force isn’t a person, Kylo, it doesn’t work like that!”

“Oh, really? Do you know _exactly_ how it works? Because after all this time, I still don’t.” Kylo got up, his lightsaber following, his mind not missing her calling him Kylo. “This thing between us isn’t normal, it’s a connection that feels beyond anything I’ve heard of, and believe me, I wish it could just go away, even after I found a way to close it, I could still feel you, your Force signature humming through me. And in this place it appears to be stronger, if I try hard enough I can hear your thoughts and feel your feelings. I mean, we’ve done this before, but not like this.” his voice was gentle and she almost didn’t hear him saying: ”I wonder how it would be by now if I hadn’t closed it shut.”

Rey was on her feet now.

“I never asked for this!” she snarled.

“Me neither! _Things_ would be a lot easier without this connection between us! I was just _fine_ before you came along!”

Rey listened what he didn’t say. It would be a lot easier for him to just kill her without their connection. Her anger spiked and she started a series of swirls with her saberstaff. Kylo immediatly stood in a defensive position waiting for her blows. He never attacked her back, he was only defending himself, Kylo had no doubt that she was more than capable of killing him. She was really furious, he could feel her anger and her intention to hurt him, to make him feel pain, _the way she was feeling_. She was blind by something he knew very well, the darkside of the Force.

Suddenly the place lit up. Rey stopped her movements and looked to the floor, closing her eyes. Kylo’s eyes were burning too. The transition from a pitch black room to this achingly white room made them fumble on their feet. Before he could register what was going on, Rey’s saberstaff slashed his right thigh. He fell to the floor and yelled in pain. It took a while for him to comprehend that Rey was also on the floor screaming, her hands on her right thigh at the same place she had struck him. Blood was staining the floor, they were both bleeding.

“No, no, no!” she was chanting. “It can’t be! No, no, no!”

At this moment, Kylo heard something at the back of his head, it was a profound voice that he knew very well, and it was saying ‘ _You must kill him’_. The voice was inside Rey’s mind, troubling her so much that she’d let it slip into Kylo’s head. He took her hands, his and hers drenched in red.

“Rey... Rey! Listen to me, look at me! Rey!” she lifted her eyes and stopped her crazy mantra of _‘no’s’_. “Don’t listen to the voice, Rey, please, shut it out. Listen to me, just me, I’m here, I’m real, I’m holding you, can you feel it? Can you feel my hands? Focus on them, focus on my eyes and my voice. Come back to me, Rey.”

Slowly he watched her coming to her senses, she blinked a few times and was back to the moment. She looked down at their hands, fingers interwined. Kylo was already a little dizzy from the blood loss, but he didn’t care.

“Oh, Ben! I’ve hurt you... I’m... we are both hurt, let me fix this.”

She started healing herself with the Force, his hands still holding hers as she placed them on her thigh and Kylo could feel all her light pouring into the wound, wishing it to heal. The sensation made Kylo happy. Then, already one hundred percent healed, she placed her hands on his thigh and the pleasure Kylo felt was beyond what he expected, he closed his eyes and only saw her, stunninly beautiful in all the light he lacked. An endearement he didn’t know he possessed took over him and all he wanted to do was take care of her, make her feel the happiness he was feeling.

“I thought I meant nothing to you.” she said in a low voice.

His eyes snapped open. His thigh was better and her hands were still holding his. He closed his mind to her and got up immediatly, the events catching up on him. He thought it was better to ignore his feelings and her seeing them.

“You hurted me and felt it too...”

“Yes, I... I felt it and the cut appeared at the same place on my thigh. Does that mean that... our connection is so strong here that we feel each other physical injuries? There was a big slash on my thigh too, Ben, it was more than just feeling, it **happened** to me too.”

“I don’t think it’s only a physical thing, Rey. What was that voice in your head?”

She was silent for a while, thinking it over, for reasons Rey couldn’t explain she trusted him, she knew she shouldn’t but it was stronger than her, it was like a thing from the heart, pure and primal.

“I’m not sure, it’s the second time I hear it. I’ve heard it earlier today... but what it has to do with anything?”

“That voice is the voice that first lured me to the dark, and I think it passed from me to you. You can hate me all you want, but please, listen to me. Ignore this voice with all your power, don’t let yourself be captured by it. It knows when you are the most vulnerable and convinces you to do things. Horrible things. You are too precious and _good_ to give in to that.” He looked at her eyes. “Promise me you won’t give in to it, you are stronger than me, Rey, I know you can resist.”

“I promise...” her voice almost a whisper. Rey felt the weight of his words, specially the bit that he thought she was too precious and stronger than him. “But, Ben, Snoke’s dead, this voice shouldn’t exist anymore.”

“I never said it was Snoke’s voice. Just be careful, Rey.”

They felt the Force changing again, the dream, or whatever it was, was fading. They just stood there, looking at each other, waiting for it to end and just like that they both disappeared from the white room.

 

*

Kylo kept sleeping and never got the chance to see Domika leaning on his bed, listening to him say Rey’s name with affection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeey, next chapter: more Reylo! uhuuuu!


	6. Chapter 6

The second time they met at the strange room, Kylo seemed resigned and Rey, after cursing under her breath, accepted that this was something that they couldn’t get away. She didn’t speak, he neither. They closed their minds to one another and just sat there waiting for it to end. This happened five more times. On the eighth time their sleep and the Force brought them together, Rey was a little suprised by Kylo’s fury. He was pacing around the room like a madman, and even though their connection was closed, she could feel all his frustration.

“What’s wrong?” she said before thinking it through.

“EVERYTHING!” Kylo shouted.

He took out his lightsaber and started hammering the wall, the room was totally white this time and Rey saw with clarity the marks of his saber on the wall disappear after each time he tried to lash his anger out on it.

She waited for his tantrum to end. After minutes, Kylo stopped, tired and a little less furious. He turned around and looked at her and his face broke her heart, _so lost, so alone, so tired._

“Ben...”

“No! Stop this, stop this now! I can’t handle this, I’m tired! It’s the eighth night in a row that we are here and I think that’s enough! We don’t have anything to talk about and I can’t understand why the Force is doing this to us! ENOUGH!!” he shouted to the ceilling.

Rey didn’t know how to respond. She understood him, she was tired too and in a way seeing him every night was taking a toll on her. She had been waking up distracted and unable to do things with full attention, her thoughts were always coming back to him and what was going on between them. By now she concluded that the Force had an agenda - if possible - and this wouldn’t stop until they talked, until they _solved things._

“I think we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t! You know what I need right now? I need to fight! I need to wake up and go destroy something, I need to bury myself in my darkness and...” he stopped there but Rey caught a glimpse of a thought from him, a name: _Domika._

Rey felt what she could only categorize as jealousy flow through her. _Maybe she’s his partner._ The thought came and went fast but before she realized, she was drawing her saberstaff.

“Ok, let’s do it! Let’s fight!” she snarled.

They dueled very differently from one another. Rey was more strategic, always seeking a soft spot and analizyng every movement he made. If her life on Jakku has taught her something, it taught her that you could always find a way out of a difficult situation and she applied this on everything she did, even fighting. Kylo’s style was a mess. He was everywhere like a dangerous strom. At the same time he striked her left he striked her right, he tried a handful of techniques in a same blow, it was a little madness because this way his guard was always down. It was hard to admit, but Rey felt sastisfied fighting him, back at the Resistance she had no one to practice with.

She found an opening and on pure instinct she hit his left arm. She regretted immediatly as she felt the pain on her own arm. Kylo smirked at her and this time he was able to hit her on her right side, they both screamed but that didn’t stop them, on the contrary, they were in sync, mirroring movements and tatics.

The floor, once white, was now red. Red from their blood, from their wounds, from their suffering and from their eternal denial.

Things got a little out of control the moment Kylo, out of habit, used the Force to strike her down, her saberstaff gone, he had now the upper ground. Rey wondered if he would kill her, but realized he wouldn’t, in this scenario he would die with her. He stopped, holding both lightsabers. Something passed on his face, an emotion Rey couldn’t tell. He tossed both sabers and kneeled before her. He stood in front of her, on his knees for minutes, she could see him struggling with something. Finally he said:

“Heal us, Rey...” it sounded like a plea she would never refuse. She would heal him every time he asked. She sat and took his hands on hers.

“Help me do it.”

“I... I’m not very good at it. No one ever taught me properly how to do it.”

“I’ll teach you...”

He nodded and together, with fingers interwined, they worked on Kylo’s arm first.

“What do I do?” he asked soflty. Rey wished her fingers weren’t trembling like she was, their faces were so close she could she with detail his scar. The scar she gave him. Kylo could see all her freckles and from her eyes his gaze easely fell to her lips.

“Just... think about the Force, sense it in you. Bent it to your will like always but in this case you’re only a way through. It’s through your hands that it will be able to heal...”

“Can I... can I try healing you while you heal me?”

The words were proper for the situation they were in, but to Rey they carried a lot more meaning. Her heart ached. She wanted badly for him to heal all her wounds, she needed to heal him as well, she wanted this so much. Yet...

“Yes.” her voice came out more firmly than she truly felt.

Kylo let go of her hand and put his right hand on her left arm, she was mimicking him. The moment was surreal. Without they really wanting, their connection was very open and they sensed the Force in waves, going from one to the other. Kylo was doing it, he was healing her and she felt contentment. She could feel that he was happy, calm. In that moment the Force was peaceful and balanced. There was nothing else except the two of them, caring for each other, using the Force and sensing it in a way that overwhelmed them.

“You did it.”

“I did?”

“Yes...”

They were very close. Rey’s eyes fell on his lips and she felt that he wanted to kiss her but he wouldn’t, and in her thoughts she asked him ‘ _why not?’_ His response resumed all their suffering ‘ _It will ruin us, Rey. We can’t.’_

“You can’t be so sure of it, Ben.”

“But I’m. You know I’m right...”

She knew and it hurted more than anything else. She took a deep breathe, both still unmoving, they didn’t want to break the moment.

“Can we at least talk about everything that happened? Can we try to be... _friends?_ ” the word seemed so wrong to describe them but it was the best she could think of.

He slowly put his left hand on her right side, she was a little taken aback.

“We are not done healing...” he said.

She imitated his move and again they felt like angels, free of everything, in a bubble of pure bliss and light and darkness. A perfect and complete circle. At the end it was too much for Rey, feeling his large hand on her side and all his power made her gasp. She was aroused and she knew he was too. He took her face in his hands and she thanked the Force he was never wearing any gloves at this encounters. Her hands flew to his hair. She’d been wanting to do that for a while now and the feeling was way better from what she expected. He closed his eyes and she pushed his head towards her, touching their foreheads, their breaths ragged.

“I guess... “ he swallowed hard. “We can try to be _friends_.” She smiled so brightly that Kylo couldn’t stop himself, he was smiling too.

Rey did something that suprised Kylo more than anything. With mighty affection and tenderness she kissed his cheek and Kylo pressed his face against hers, both feeling the Force flow with eletricity from one to the other. Rey realized she could stay like that for hours, it was enough for her, but then, Kylo disappeared and she was left alone... wanting more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heey, next chapter uncle Luke is baack !
> 
> ;)


	7. Chapter 7

“Kylo! Wake up! Kylo!”

He jerked awake, Domika was shaking him.

“What, what? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” she snorted.

“So what is it?” he sat on the bed. In the past days he tried his best not to share his bed with Domika - he never knew what could happen at the white/black room with Rey - but sometimes she wouldn't leave. She was looking at him in a way he didn’t like.

“It’s Hux, he wants to talk to you.”

“Now? What for? It’s the middle of the night.”

“I have no idea, he’s a pain in the ass... but you’re _Supreme Leader_ after all.”

"Why are you awake?"

Domika avoided looking at him directly, she got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. “You should go see what he wants.”

She was behaving oddly. “Is everything alright with you?”

“Yes, Kylo, I’m _fantastic_.”

He dressed himself and went to the meeting room, a hologram of Hux was standing in the middle of the spacious and luxurious place.

Hux talked politics, tatics and ways to obliterate any remaining dissident of the First Order. Kylo was barely hearing, his mind was far away, he couldn’t stop thinking about Rey and what they shared, however on a more imediate note he thought about Domika. She was acting strange and Kylo could sense something was wrong with her.

“Don’t you agree, Supreme Leader?”

“What?”

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying? Of course not! You are a disgrace to the Galaxy! It’s a shame that I have to report to you, a spoiled brat!”

“I can still choke you through the hologram, you know that, right?”

Hux laughed, it was a strange sound. “You wouldn’t kill me! You need me to keep up this farce! People think you rule! Fools! I’m the real Leader here, I’m the one whom control everything, you are just an idiot!” Kylo was a bit suprised, but he didn’t feel anger or anything similar to it, in fact he was amused. _I’m probably still ‘high’ because of Rey’s light._ “I’m only debriefing you because of protocol and I –“

Hux words were cutted by him choking on them. Kylo looked around and saw Domika behind him, her hand raised. She was killing Hux.

“Stop, Domika.” She kept going. “Stop RIGHT NOW!” Hux was already purple. Kylo stood in front of her and shouted. “IT’S AN ORDER DOMIKA REN! IF YOU DON’T STOP RIGHT NOW I WILL HAVE TO FIGHT YOU. HOW DARE YOU DESOBEY A DIRECT ORDER FROM YOUR LEADER?”

She released Hux. He fell to the floor, almost fainting.

“I apologize for my behavior, _Leader Ren,_ but at least one of us should do something. _”_ Domika’s words were sarcastic.

“Don’t you dare exit the Castle before we talk. You shouldn’t even be here, you’re dismissed.” Kylo hissed.

Domika strode away without looking back. Hux was glaring at Kylo from the hologram.

“You will pay for this. You all will.” And he disappeared.

Kylo had no reaction. He just sat there. He ran his hand through his hair. The day he became Supreme Leader, he didn’t think clearly. The moment he killed Snoke, his only concern was Rey’s life. He knew Snoke wanted him to kill her, to prove himself again to his master, but it was Rey. He would never kill her. If he didn't kill Snoke, he would hunt her forever, Kylo couldn't allow this, he _liked_ her. But Kylo didn’t elaborate on the consequences. He tried to give everything to her, but she refused, and he got angry, very angry. After he failed to exterminate the rest of the Resistance, Kylo came to his senses. He never wanted to be Supreme Leader, not like this. So, without him really caring, Hux took over everything and Kylo's Knights took care of him, he was a total mess. Yes, the title of Supreme Leader was his, but he didn’t **feel** like it at all. Sometimes the only thing he wanted was something similar to peace... or sweet oblivion. Kylo couldn’t deny that there were times the darkness would suffocate him. These times he wished he was dead. It would solve everything, it would end all his pain, it would wash away all his wrong doings, it would bring confort for those who feared him and he at last would be able to just be. He wouldn’t be Solo or Organa, or even Skywalker. No more light or darkness, no more conflict, no more regret, no more hate. He had to hate everything and everyone constantly and it was exhausting. He was tired.

He heard a ship taking off and he knew it was Domika. She’d desobeyed him again. What was he going to do with her?

“You know what you have to do.”

“Fuck, I don’t need this right now.”

Luke Skywalker’s ghost was smiling.

“Oh, come on, nephew. Everyday you feel it getting stronger. Your light. You can’t continue this life. Why do you resist so much?”

“I don’t wanna talk to you. LEAVE!”

Kylo shouted, and Luke’s smile grew wider.

“There you go. Whenever you feel threatened you burst out, don’t you? Well, you have to learn how to control that.”

“I don’t want to control anything. It’s who I am!”

“You’re absolutely right, that was my biggest mistake with you. If only things were different, maybe in another life, who knows?”

“What are you talking about?” Kylo said through his teeth.

“Let me try again... train you again. What do you say?”

“It wouldn’t work and you know why? Because Force ghosts can’t kill their padawans!”

“Ok, that was... well... will you ever forgive me?”

“Forgiveness is for the weak, it’s not something a darksider like me would do. I will never forgive you... you saw how Snoke was trying to manipulate me and instead of talking to me, instead of helping me, you tried to kill me, your own nephew.” Kylo’s voice was cold.

“I see now that as your family, I should’ve been more an uncle than a master and I understand your anger. Now, as a ghost, I want to mend things with you. Please, just hear me, Ben, things won’t go the way you think. Without Snoke in your head you can see everything more clearly. You DO NOT belong here!”

“I DO! My Knights are my everything! When you, my father and even my own mother turned your backs on me, they gave me a sense of belonging! We are bonded by blood and by an oath! So if you say I don’t belong here, you are wrong!”

“You are bonded now with someone else, you belong with that someone... stop denying it, Ben! She's what you've been waiting for all this time!”

Rey. Luke was talking about Rey.

“What do you know about that? Do you know why we are meeting every night? What is that room?”

“I may know something, but it’s not my place to tell you.”

“This bond shouldn’t exist. She... she doesn’t deserves this. To be bonded with me... with a monster.”

It was the first time Kylo was showing some kind of emotion near Luke.

“You are not a monster...”

“Yes, I AM! She thinks so too. She is just confused about the whole thing.”

“I think you’re not giving her enough credit. She fought me, you know? When she found out what happened between us. She said you were her last hope.”

“What? She said that?”

“Yes, she did. She believes in you.” Luke was fading. “You should believe too.”

And like that, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, next chapter: I can't say much, but I think you'll like it! 
> 
> ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey, I said last chapter that I thought you guys would like this one, but now I'm not so sure... 
> 
> :s

Rey woke up relaxed. Ben had vanished from the room and she stayed there a while, meditating. Rey was almost certain now that what they shared in the room was real, very real. They weren’t only dreaming, they were really there, their minds and souls talked and fought. She was pondering if she should open their connection again when Finn knocked on her door.

“Hey, Rey!? Are you up? Come on, we have a mission!”

“Yeah, ok, I’ll be out in a minute!”

Finn was waiting for her by the Falcon. They talked as they entered the ship. Rey saw food waiting for them, she thanked the Force.

“So what kind of mission in this?”

“I’m not sure, Poe want us to look for something called The Black Diamond. He’s not sure what it is either.”

“But why does he want it?”

“No idea why, you know Poe, sometimes he just want things done and we better do it. But to be fair, he said it’s a powerful weapon...” Finn shrugged. “So, Rose has a lead... a friend of hers has heard the name before. We’re going to a planet called Numbi.”

Rey positioned herself on the pilot’s seat.

“Have you ever been there?” Finn asked.

“No, you?”

“Neither!”

“This is going to be fun, then!”

“HOW are you always excited for this stuff? Seriously...”

Rey was trying to be positive but something in her guts and in the Force was warning her, telling her to be careful and alert. She imagined she was being paranoic but the feeling didn’t fade.

 

*

 

Kylo finally found Domika’s Force signature. He frowned. She was in a planet called Numbi. What was she doing there? After Luke disappeared, he woke up his Knights and they started a search on Domika. They didn’t understand at first, but Kylo explained she’d desobeyed him and he wouldn’t let it pass again.

He descended in the planet. Numbi was known for its diamonds. They had diamonds of all kinds, shapes and colors. People said that some of them were really powerful but Kylo never believed in those rumors, however, Domika was here, she wouldn’t be here for nothing. Everything was made out of diamonds, the streets, the fortifications, even the ships that belonged to the planet. Kylo was dressed all in black like always but more casually than most times. His lightsaber was hidden. This was a rich planet and one of the few that hadn’t yet given in to the First Order.

Kylo walked a lot. He had trouble finding Domika, her Force signature was unstable, it appeared and disappeared very quickly. This was infuriating him. At last he found a Temple, a simple one. He stepped into it and saw a creature, similar to a wild lion, it was inside staring at him, motionless, from a pedestal. On its forehead three little black diamonds caught Kylo’s eyes. There was nothing more on the Temple, just big windows and another way in or out opposed to the one Kylo used to get in. He was mesmerized by the creature so he never sensed Domika coming behind his back. In a beat Kylo was on the floor, stomach down, hands behind his back, she on top of him, neutralizing him. She took his saber. Kylo tried using the Force to lift her, but nothing happened.

“Well, love... why are you following me?”

“Domika, release me now. My patience with you is almost over.”

She seemed to be thinking about what to do. Finally she got up and Kylo followed, he was ready to yell at her but the look on her face broke his resolve. She was sad and afraid. It was rare to see her this way, if Kylo remembered well, the only other time he saw her like this was the day he went with her to her home planet to bury her parents. They’d just abandoned Skywalker’s Temple and Domika never got the chance to see her parents one last time. A bunch of drunk bounty hunters had killed them for fun. Parents were a weakness, but he knew they were also a strenght. Domika wasted no time in chasing down their assassins, she was never the same after that.

He was close to this girl, woman, and at that moment, he couldn’t be Leader Ren, he had to be just Kylo.

“So... where are we?” he asked.

Her face lit up. She started talking.

 

*

 

“Wow, this is a shinning planet, for sure!” Finn said.

They were in what could be called simple clothes, both in white.

“Ok, let’s go.”

They asked questions on the streets but no one seemed to know what they were talking about. People weren’t very friendly.

“Rey, I have an idea.”

“This can’t be good.”

He smiled.

“Why don’t you use the Force to locate this thing? I mean, it’s obviously a literal black diamond with powers that we’re looking for.”

“That’s not a good id-“

Rey stopped talking mid-sentence. She could feel him. Right here, on this planet. Ben was here. She could feel another signature, a very dark one, similar to his and one she remembered well, very well. A woman. Immediatly she hid her signature and wondered why they weren’t hiding theirs. She took Finn by the arm, not paying attention to his protests – _what the hell!_ – and guided into the intricate secondary streets. They were walking fast, Rey was following the signatures. She made a silent gesture to Finn, he complied.

Now, walking slowly, trying not to make a single sound, Rey pointed to what appeared to be a Temple, a very old one. She peeked. She saw Ben immediatly. His front was facing her but he didn’t see her, his attention was on the woman that had her back to Rey, she could only see her flashy blond hair. Rey felt a wave of anger but controlled it the best she could, she couldn’t allow them to sense her. After a while she noticed a creature on a pedestal, she pointed at the little black diamonds on its forehead. Finn nodded, he was already looking for a way to get there without being seen. Rey stopped him.

She gesture to him. She wanted to hear what they were saying, and they did.

 

*

 

“This Temple is an ancient place. Not everyone can find it, people come and go around it but no one ever really see it.” Domika said.

“So, we can see it because we are Force users?”

“Exactly. There’s something regarding the Force that can be found here.” She gestured to the creature. “This animal is its guardian. It won’t attack unless it feels threatened, just like you, love.” She smiled at Kylo, he said nothing. “This creature holds something I want...”

Kylo had a vague idea about what she was talking about.

“How you discovered this place?”

“Oh, love, I’ve been busy since you barely look at me anymore.” She pouted.

“Don’t start it, Domika. You’re clearly having issues with me and my leadership and I don’t know why!”

“OF COURSE I AM!!” she lost it. “I FEEL THIS DAMN LIGHT IN YOU EVERY FUCKING DAY, KYLO! AND I’M TIRED OF IT! I THOUGHT KILLING YOUR MOTHER WAS THE SOLUTION BUT IT OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T WORK! YOU EVEN STOPPED ME FROM KILLING THAT INSUFFERABLE GENERAL!”

She took his face in her hands and made him look at her. They were almost the same height so it wasn’t difficult for her to hold his gaze.

“Where’s the Kylo I know? I miss him, badly. I miss how we would have fun being nasty and fighting others just to show our powers. I miss all the nights and days we shared talking. I even miss the time we spent under Skywalker’s tutelage. Things were different then. You changed too much, Kylo. Snoke broke you to the core! That bastard! I’ve always hated him and I’m glad he’s dead!”

“Domika... I’m the same, maybe it’s you who changed.”

“Come on, Kylo, you can’t fool me! I know you since we were kids. I don’t know what to do anymore! Where’s that Kylo who wanted nothing more than to rule the Galaxy? Wanted nothing more than kill Luke Skywalker? Wanted nothing more than finish what Darth Vader started? Where’s that Kylo that was always so passionate? So irrational? Where’s that hot mess of a man? Where’s that Kylo that couldn’t keep his hands away from me?” She kissed him, but Kylo didn’t respond. “I feel like I’m losing you, Ky... and I gave everything to you...” her voice was just a whisper now. She released him and walked closer to the creature.

Kylo closed his eyes. Domika’s words were too close to his heart, he’d said something similar once to Snoke, he truly gave everything to his master and got nothing in return, only hatred, mean words, pain and indifference. He couldn’t do the same to Domika. Never. She was his Knight, his friend, his companion in the dark, his lover. He wouldn’t be like Snoke.

“Domika.” She turned to look at him. Kylo strode to her and without a second thought, kissed her. She responded and in seconds she was with her legs around him. He pressed her against the wall, next to the creature. They lost track of everything else.

 

*

 

Rey was feeling sick.

“Wow! They really are a couple. This is great, Rey, we can use this to-“ Finn looked at her. “Are you ok? Hell, Rey, you’re the color of our clothes!”

Rey swallowed her saliva, she was nauseous. She turned her back to Kylo and Domika and stepped away from the Temple, Finn followed. Rey was trying to hold it but she eventually threw up all her breakfast. She couldn’t describe what she was feeling. It was like someone had a hand inside her and was stirring things up, her stomach, her lungs and specially her heart. It hurted. Finn was dumbfounded looking at her.

“I...” she had to say something, what would he think of her? “I think that PitiFruit was bad. I’m fine now.”

“Oh, ok... do you need something?”

“Just water, please.”

She drank it and started to really feel a little better, however the image of Ben pressing _that assassin_ against the wall was printed on her brain forever, she was sure of it.

“Rey, I think it’s our chance. They’re **very** distracted right now.”

Rey took a deep breath, she had to be rational, her emotions couldn’t get in the way of the mission.

“Ok, do you think The Black Diamond is inside the creature?” Rey asked.

“I guess, I mean, there’s nothing else there.”

“We have to create a distraction for them.” Finn looked at her with an obvious expression. “I **know** they’re already distracted but they’re inches from the creature, Finn! It’s impossible for us to just go there, seize it and walk away without them seeing us!”

“Fine, I’ll just blow something up to catch their attention and you stay here waiting for the right moment.”

Finn went behind the Temple. It was sick and twisted but Rey returned her gaze to them and realized she couldn’t avert her eyes anymore. They weren’t having sex, _yet_ , and in a way that was more uncomfortable than anything else. They were taking their time, kissing and caressing each other, it wasn’t just physical or just a crazy passion, it involved sentiment. Ben had his back to Rey, and she saw as his shirt flew away and _she_ started kissing his chest and throat. Rey was filled with anger, disgust and envy. Not much the lightside of the Force if you think about it. Her signature spiked out of control for just a second.

The moment it happened, Rey was startled as _Domika_ opened her eyes and looked direct at her, she gave Rey a vicious smile and whimpered loudly with Ben’s kisses on her torso. She kept looking at Rey. And then, an explosion separated them.

They were breathing heavily, and Ben said something Rey couldn’t understand. He took his shirt and exited the Temple. Of course, one of them stayed. Rey didn’t care. She already wanted to kill this woman, now or later, it didn’t matter.

She entered the Temple as soon as she thought Ben was far enough.

“So, _the_ _Jedi!_ It’s an _honor_!” she laughed loudly. “You know, my favorite thing in the Galaxy is a game I call ‘Jedi killing’. It’s so much fun! Thank you for coming here and sparing me the time I would spend searching for you! You’re such a sweet girl!”

Rey stood there in silence. She was almost seeing red. She ignited her saberstaff. They heard another explosion. What was Finn doing? Domika mimicked her and ignited her black lightsaber. Rey saw Ben’s saber on her waist.

“You don’t stand a chance against me, little girl. I’m way superior to you.”

Rey’s eyes were too slow to catch Domika’s movement, but her trained body was able to block her black lightsaber that had no intent in fighting, Domika went for the kill. Rey roared and looked at her enemy with fury. Their faces inches away.

“Liked what you saw? Kylo’s a fantastic lover.”

That was it for Rey, she embraced all her anger and threw Domika away from her.

“Aw, how sweet. You have feelings for him.”

Another explosion.

This time Rey was prepared for Domika’s offense. She quickly got out of the way and attacked, her saberstaff fast as lightining but Domika had more experience in combat. She ignited Kylo’s saber and stopped Rey’s atempt shoving his and hers saber against Rey.

“Is that your best? How pathetic!”

Domika charged again and Rey used the Force to throw her against the wall. Rey froze her there. Domika seemed suprised and for the first time a little frightened.

“How can you use the Force here? We can’t use the Force here!!!”

“Well, apparentely I can.”

Rey seized both sabers from Domika and kept her there. She moved towards the creature and out of pure instinct she bowed before it. The creature bowed back. Rey raised her hand and touched the black diamonds on its forehead. Domika was screaming in anger and disbelief. The creature opened its mouth and inside Rey saw a diamond the size of her hand, it had something written on it. Another explosion pulled Rey out of her moment, she finally extended her hand and wrapped it around the diamond. Rey sensed what was going to happen before it did, but she wasn’t fast enough. The creature’s mouth closed around Rey’s arm. She screamed on reflex. Domika laughed.

Although the creature’s mouth closed around Rey’s arm, it never fully bit her. It was just holding Rey’s hand in place. Then a voice came out of nowhere:

“Who are you?”

Rey looked around, there was no one there except her and Domika pressed against the wall. Domika was furious. She screamed:

“She’s a nobody! Whatever kind of Force you are, release me so I can finish her! I’m the one here who’s worthy of the diamond!”

Rey was thinking about killing Domika, she almost raised her saber and threw it in her direction but the mouth closed a little more around her, little cuts made by its teeth were now bleeding. It asked again:

“Who are you?”

“I’m... I’m Rey, a Jedi.”

“A Jedi? Are you sure?”

“Of course I am!”

“Interesting. Why do you want the diamond?”

Rey wasn’t sure what to say. Domika was now yelling:

“KYLOO! KYY!”

“SHUT UP!” Rey’s anger was a suprise even to herself, she started pressing Domika against the wall with blind fury. The creature’s mouth closed a little more around her. The voice said:

“The more you show your darkness, less worthy of the diamond you are.”

Rey was taken aback. She was a Jedi, she couldn’t succumb to the dark. She calmed herself.

“I’ll kill you little Jedi, I swear. I’ll destroy you, even if it’s the last thing I do.” Domika was deadly serious and Rey for the first time felt something close to fear.

“Why do you want the diamond?” it asked again.

“I feel it’s my duty now to protect it.” She didn’t understand her words, but she felt this way.

The mouth opened again and Rey quickly took the diamond.

“Take good care of it, Rey. Our work here is done.”

Just like that, the creature started walking, exiting the Temple. It stopped in front of Domika. The creature said something in a language Rey couldn’t understand and Domika fell to the floor, unconscious.

“REEEY!” Finn’s voice sounded desperate.

Rey put the diamond in her little bag. She looked at the sabers she was holding. Ben’s and Domika’s. She felt a destructive Force coming from the black lightsaber but she would keep it. She released Ben’s lightsaber on the floor. She was coming out of the Temple but Finn caught her and made her comeback inside.

“He’s coming! We have to go!!”

Rey knew it was Ben. She wanted to see him, talk to him, but with Finn she couldn’t do that, so she started following him outside but before they exited the Temple on the other side, Ben appeared inside and called her.

“REY!”

She turned around. Finn stopped, pulling her by the arm, but she paid no attention to him, she was fixed on Ben. In seconds she registered that he was hurt and she was a bit suprised that she wasn’t. Maybe what happened at their dreams wasn’t real after all.

Kylo couldn’t look away. He was transfixed by her presence. The last time he saw her was when his mother died, but it was so dark... they’ve also met in dreams and through the bond, but seeing her like this, sunlight kissing her skin, it was more than he could handle, the pull he felt was so strong that he started walking to her without realizing it. He forgot all his anger towards the traitor and wished only to hug her. Just feel her. He didn’t notice Domika on the floor or the missing creature.

They were both too distracted with each other, so the moment Finn shot him, it was a little too late. Rey reacted at the last moment, pushing Finn’s gun, but it wasn’t enough.

It all happened in slow motion to Rey. Apparently in moments of extreme distress she saw things in a different way, it also happened the night Leia was murdered. Her eyes left Ben’s and watched as Finn pulled the trigger. Her hand slowly rising up to stop him. She touching the lasergun and feeling its coldness against her fingers. The laser coming out of it. She turning her head to see where it would hit him. Ben putting his hand on his chest, falling. Falling to his knees in pain. Closing his eyes. Gasping. She wasn’t herself when she started running towards him. Her mind was a blur, she only thought of saving him. He was hurt, badly.

She was going to save him, for sure, she didn’t care about Finn or any consequences, she was not going to let him die like this. It was **her** mission to kill him - this was the excuse she was going to give anyone who asked her why she saved him, and she was also trying to convince herself of that.

However, when she was merely six feet away from him, she realized the diamond was pulsing inside her bag. It pulsed and pulsed, like a heartbeat. Rey sensed all its power. Immediatly she felt dizzy, her legs heavy, her breath almost nonexistent, her heart failling. She fell to her kness, looking at Ben, he was already out, bleeding. She tried to get up but she gave in, her eyes were closing and just like that her world was only darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there are a few things I want to say...
> 
> . First of all, English is not my mother language but I love writing and I love Reylo and after watching TLJ I was just crazy, I had to write something about them, I had to show someone what I thought about their relationship and although I could write it in my own language, I knew that in English more people would be able to read it. That being said, I apologize for my mistakes! I studied English when I was younger and it's been a while since.
> 
> . The fic was already in progress when I started posting here and I was writing this chapter... so I don't know when the next chapter will be up, it won't take long, but I can't be sure.
> 
> . I'm new to all of this, so I would appreciate a lot if you guys said what you're thinking about the fic! I accept anything, really. hahaha If you think my fic suck, you can say it, if you think it's ok, or if you think it's good, I would like to hear it! Or maybe just leave a Kudo :)
> 
>  
> 
> . That's it ! I've already started next chapter and I can say we will find out a bit more about this crazy diamond...


End file.
